It can be emotionally frustrating when you are in a relationship with people who do more harm than good.
‘How to detach from someone you like?’
‘How to get over a breakup?’
‘How can I stop these feelings? How can I stop the pain? Can’t I just skip this phase of my life?’
You might have wondered or googled these questions several times when you were going through a toxic relationship or were in the midst of a devastating breakup.
But thinking about something and actually doing about it are two very different things.
Unfortunately, there is no quick and easy way to get over things, but you can learn how to detach from someone you like emotionally a crucial tool. Most of us have gone through a bad relationship phase, so it’s important to understand that you’re not alone!
During this time, grieve, cry your heart out, be sad, be selfish and reward yourself. It’s the perfect time to get your life back to who you were once and destined to be. Work on yourself and make the best out of it. Detaching yourself from someone doesn’t always need to be a sad ending. It can also be a happy beginning of a new journey. Enjoy the process thoroughly.
When should you emotionally detach from someone?
You realize that you are stuck in an old relationship that is not helping you with anything. It’s doing more harm than good. Maybe your partner cheated on you or abused you. The people you are with are toxic and cause harm to your mental peace repeatedly. These can be all the possible reasons you should learn how to detach from someone emotionally.
If you feel depressed, weepy, useless, abused, or used, you need to move on. If you spend all your time picturing what that person is doing without you instead of focusing on your improvement, it’s the right time you should learn how to detach from someone emotionally.
You are in distress and grieving, but your steps can help you heal faster from a toxic relationship.
Follow these ways to learn how to detach from someone emotionally and move on in life:
1. Emotionally detach by getting busy
Sometimes you get too connected with someone, and detaching yourself from them becomes problematic. Instead of twiddling your thumbs and thinking about them, keep your mind busy with other important thoughts.
Of course, you can go out with your friends and family members and attend parties, but investing time into yourself during this phase is the best gift you can give yourself. Set career goals and build an effective strategy to achieve them. Doing what you are good at will give you the perfect boost to start your transformation journey and help you to learn how to detach yourself from someone.
2. Practice self-care
You must have spent a lot of your time and energy on your toxic friend or partner. You should stop worrying about them 24X7 and start worrying about yourself. Start investing time in self-care activities.
Get that manicure your ex-husband thought was a waste of time, and start loving yourself more. Have a full-spa day with your loved ones and detach yourself from the emotional baggage. Spend time listening to soothing music and reading books. You deserve to treat yourself during this dynamic phase.
Read more: Best movies to watch after a breakup
3. Reconnect with your lost friends
Unfortunately, most failed relationships turn out to be soul-sucking and dominating. You tend to lose all your connections with friends and other people. You spend so much time with that one toxic friend or partner that you don’t have any time left with your forever friends.
Start reaching out to your long-lost besties and tell them that you are back to stay. Don’t be afraid of what they’ll think. If you have a real mate, they will be more than happy to welcome you and accept you.
We all need to detach someone from time to time. Your true friends will understand you and be ready to pick you up where you left off.
4. Get a hobby
Have you ever been stuck in a marriage, and your toxic ex-husband never let you out of the house to do something you’re passionate about? Well, now is the time. Learn how to emotionally detach from someone by keeping you busy and moving your energy into a hobby you like.
Learn horse riding, dancing, playing piano, or joining a salsa class you’ve always wanted. Push yourself into it, so you don’t have the time to think about them again.
5. Learn how to emotionally detach from someone by attaching to yourself
How do you detach from someone? By making yourself punish? Don’t. Fall in love. Yes, it’s time to fall in love with yourself again and leave your toxic partner. Think about those times when you were happy, the good you’ve done for others, and all the achievements you’ve accomplished in your life.
Learn how to emotionally detach from someone by attaching to yourself. Love yourself as much as you used to love those toxic people. Practicing self-love is one of the most crucial steps in increasing your low self-esteem and learning how to get unattached to someone.
6. Get a pet
Animals are great healers. Instead of investing your love and time over a toxic person (who doesn’t deserve it), invest in someone who will love you unconditionally.
It may sound crazy but talk to your pet. Let all your feelings out. Instead of thinking, say, “I’m ready to move forward” loud. Trust us; your new pet will love your mantras every day.
7. Practice mindfulness
Learn how to detach emotionally from someone by doing meditation, yoga, or practicing gratitude. Practicing meditation will not only help you with the current phase but will also help you sort things out in the future. Spend some time understanding how to meditate or learn to rehearse yoga daily. Yoga and meditation help relax your mind and soul and remove all the toxins.
Get in the practice of rehearsing meditation daily, and in no time, you’ll be surprised by what a good meditation session can do for your mind and soul.
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8. Give yourself time to grieve
Give yourself time to mourn and cry. Detaching emotionally from someone you love is a long process, and you need time to accept it.
If you do not learn to address and understand your emotions, they may keep building up and make your heart feel very heavy. Don’t become enraged when you feel your heart bubble up. You are in pain, and you are grieving. It’s normal, and things will get better.
9. Forgive them
Learn how to detach yourself from someone by forgiving them. Forgiveness is not necessarily about pardoning someone for doing you wrong. It is more about getting rid of the anger you’re holding and detaching from them.
10. Ask for help from family and friends
After trying all the ways, sometimes it’s not easy to do it alone. You may just need a small help getting over the person and the situation.
There is no disgrace in asking for help. You’ll soon realize that most other people also go through the same situation. Asking for help from them can also give you various strategies that have personally worked for them.
11. Stop worrying about what they are doing
Stop worrying about what they must be doing or whether they’re thinking about you or not. It no longer counts what they are doing, who they are talking to, dating, etc.
Picturing them in hypothetical situations won’t do any good than harm. If you repeatedly imagine these situations, remind yourself that it is over. It’s all about you now!
If you go through these tips mentioned above, you will discover that they are all about you and relate to you somehow or the other. Spending time with or on yourself is not equal to becoming selfish. Think of it as a time to refresh and get started with lots of energy.
There are few things as disorienting and disturbing as trying to detach from someone emotionally. What you need during this time is a companion that helps you in this challenging journey of moving from heartbreak to healing. The Breakup Guide by Your Mental Health Pal is just that. Packed with pieces of advice, guided journal prompts, worksheets, and much more, this is your perfect companion to begin moving on.
In case your issues go deeper than what our Breakup Guide can solve, you can also get over a person or your toxic partner by getting help from people who have been there themselves or are professionally experienced in this area. Help from a certified therapist can give you a fresh start by deciding to reflect, understand and act on improving your life.
Disclaimer: As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive a commission from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through our links provided on this page.
This may not be the first or the last time, but once you get to know the tools on how to emotionally detach yourself from someone you like, it will get easier to separate from other negative people in your life.
Move ahead with your life and leave the toxicity behind. Your Mental Health Pal is with you. You got this!
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