Do you often feel discomfort when it comes to trusting a person and even ask yourself, “why can’t I trust anyone”?
The inability to trust is a feeling associated with issues or problems we might have faced. Trust is a strong word for everyone, and trusting someone can make us feel vulnerable, but that’s completely normal.
The feeling of “trust” makes you happy and secure.
We live in a society where we deal with many people daily. We build connections, either work-related or personal. In all aspects of our life, we have to, directly and indirectly, put our faith in people. Building trust can help you be more positive toward various aspects of life.
So if you are facing issues on why you can’t trust anyone, there can be multiple reasons.
Some Of The Reasons Why Can’t I Trust Anyone
1. Childhood Trauma
Those who suffer trauma are affected by disturbing events or accidents, which are hard for them to cope with. Someone dealing with trauma might feel helpless and lose their mental capacity and ability to express themselves.
Sometimes people also experience trauma in their early childhood, which might have a more severe effect on their personality and can make them prone to depression and anxiety.
Experiencing trauma at an early age can make a person refrain from trusting anyone. They grow into adults, and these traumatic incidents make a home in their heads and affect their mental health adversely.
They stop expressing any emotions and don’t even trust themselves, and start believing that the outside world is dangerous, so they don’t reciprocate to anyone else correctly.
If someone has experienced childhood trauma or any traumatic event, they can take time and process it. Grounding, naming, and sharing it. It is one of the simple ways to deal with trauma in smaller fragments.
Have patience and believe in yourself. Slowly you will allow yourself to trust people. You might say,’ why do I feel like I can’t trust anyone, but it’s normal. You have to give yourself sufficient time to heal. Till then, trust the process.
2. Unhealthy Relationships
Relationships play a very vital role in our life. Relationships with our family or our partners affect many aspects of our personality. But when we experience unhealthy patterns in these relationships, we face various problems, including trust issues.
Unhealthy relationships with different people may include lies, disrespect, or manipulation.
When a person in a marriage experiences infidelity, they are devastated and may feel alone. Anxiety, depression, increased stress, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are some of the adverse effects of cheating on mental health.
To heal from bad relationships, you need to let yourself feel the pain and be around positive people who will help you through your hard time. Give time to yourself and practice self-care, and never blame yourself. It’s normal to feel, ‘why can’t I trust but with time, you will surely be in a better place mentally and start trusting people again.
Being bullied is facing coercion by doing something uncomfortable. A person may be hurt emotionally and physically.
41% of students reported being bullied and also expressed their fears of being bullied again.
When a person makes new friends or lets new people into their life, they hope for respect and good relationship. On the contrary, if they bully them, their trust breaks.
One who is bullied might think that everyone is against them. They are confused about who to trust. Bullying also causes post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Recovering from the effects of being bullied can take a while. Bullying gives you reasons why you shouldn’t trust anyone.
Start by acknowledging and showing compassion to yourself. Then move towards healing, which includes increasing your self-esteem and confidence.
You can achieve this by practicing meditation, yoga, or other self-care activities. The essential thing you need to do is to stop saying negative things to yourself. You may feel, ‘why can’t I trust people but don’t give up. Be proud of yourself for how far you have come. And then, before realizing your trust in yourself and the people around you will start growing.
4. Low Self-esteem
Self-esteem is what we feel about ourselves. It is vital to have healthy self-esteem. Positive self-esteem will help us deal with the problems in our lives in a better way.
If a person lacks confidence or self-love is said to have low self-esteem. Now how does low self-esteem affect trust?
Low self-esteem may make a person have a negative approach towards their life. People stop believing in themselves. They are also worried and keep questioning themselves, ‘why can I not trust anyone?’. Low self-esteem may make them worry about abandonment. It is very normal for them not to trust others. It is normal to have low self-esteem if one has been through past traumatic events or wasn’t valued by their loved ones.
You can deal with low self-esteem by avoiding negative self-talk, not comparing yourself to others, accepting your flaws, working on your confidence, and practicing some self-care exercises.
Read More: 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem Book Review
5. Mental disorders
Many of us might be facing trust issues. It may be a result of past incidents or present surroundings. But some people might face intense trust issues due to psychological disorders.
Physiological disorder is a dysfunctional behavior that causes distress and is considered different from standard social habits. Some of the psychological disorders that are the cause of trust issues are
1. Personality Disorder:
If a person is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, or paranoid personality disorder, they might face trust issues. They might be suspicious of people and not trust them without adequate reasons. Sometimes they might feel ‘why do I not trust anyone’ but can’t help it.
2. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD):
Neglect during childhood, abuse, etc., might cause reactive attachment disorder (RAD) as an adult, which makes an individual reluctant to trust anyone or form an emotional bond.
Psychotic Disorders like Schizophrenia creates paranoia, making it hard to trust people.
If you are facing any serious mental issues, don’t worry. Numerous mental health institutions will help you.
Also, Read Top 10 Mental Health Daily Check-In Questions
Rejections during childhood aslo affect the feeling of trust. It includes constantly being denied being a part of something or not being given importance. Rejections might make a person question their worth, leading to decreased confidence. As a result, sometimes, people emotionally shut themselves down.
It is normal to feel this. By practicing self-acceptance and self-awareness, you can start trusting people around you. Try changing your thought process by shifting negative self-talk to positive affirmations. Stop thinking about ‘why can’t I trust anyone and give time to yourself.
7. Unhealthy attachment:
People are said to have an unhealthy attachment:
- when they abandon their perspective and look solely through their partner’s eyes.
- when they lose the sense of individuality in a relationship
- when they seek out relationships to avoid being alone.
- when they stay in unhealthy relationships.
- when detachment is hard for them, even if the relationship is negatively affecting their life etc.
They have the constant thought,’ why can’t I trust people, and slowly start attaching themselves in a way that will hamper their mental health.
Try giving yourself some alone time. Understand what your pattern of being attached to someone is. Give your mental health priority. It is not simple to detach from someone, but you should take time to do what’s right for you.
8. Damaged boundaries
Damaging boundaries means knowing and doing anything a person doesn’t like or making them feel guilty about setting a boundary, not respecting their time, space or privacy, or making them feel bad about their choices. Damaging boundaries can affect a person both physically and emotionally. It develops trust issues in them. This can also be a reason for your question,’ why can’t I trust anyone.’
Be with people who value your boundaries or who you can trust your limits with. Continue setting solid boundaries, be confident with your choices, and detach from people unwilling to accept your boundaries. Try opening up whenever you feel uncomfortable.
9. Unhealthy friendships
Sometimes many of us get involved in unhealthy friendships with people who lie behind others’ backs or are very rude and judgmental. In such a case, a person develops a sense of insecurity. Unhealthy friendships include people who might not keep their promises and leave in a time of need. They take all the support they need but don’t give a shoulder to the other person. They can provide you with all the reasons why you shouldn’t trust anyone.
You can deal with unhealthy friendships by acknowledging that you are in one. Then give yourself space. Open about being uncomfortable with certain activities. Take care of yourself and your mental health.
People who face betrayal may experience shock, grief, damaged self-esteem, anxiety disorder, PTSD, depression, and social disconnection. This causes trust issues because a person develops a fear of being emotionally hurt again. They build an emotional wall for themselves and prevent close relationships.
Dealing with betrayal can take a while because opening up about it is not easy, as it is hard to trust anyone again. Try acknowledging your feelings. Let people give you companionship. Tell them that you are questioning yourself, ‘why can’t I trust anyone.’ They might provide you with advice that might be helpful. Take care of your body.
Takeaway On “Why You Can’t Trust Anyone”:
Understanding the concept of ‘trust’ is very important. Our mental health is also dependent on being able to trust. It makes us feel secure and happy. It keeps our self-esteem high. Being able to trust will keep you satisfied with your life. You will have better relationships with people in your society. Trust is an essential part of your growth.
The first solution to “why can’t I trust anyone” is to understand all the incidents and social experiences you have faced which has led to the build-up of trust issues in you. Try solving them at your own pace. It is normal not to trust anyone blindly. You must build trust for the people who are close to you and love you.
Having all these issues is normal because nowadays, deceiving people is becoming a trend. Not trusting people is a defense mechanism also. There are reasons why you shouldn’t trust anyone blindly. Sometimes you might avoid any problem if you trust people.
Excess of anything is wrong. Trust but not blindly, but if you have trustworthy people in your life, give them a chance. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t trust anyone you don’t know. Sometimes people might take advantage of you, so it’s normal to be cautious.
To learn more about different psychological disorders, click here.
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